~Iya's Poetry About Life~

--Falling to Pieces--
Copyright Iya1999

I am falling to pieces
Everyday I grow deeper and deeper into depression
Sick and painful tears fall from my eyes
growing cold and dark hour by hour
never stopping to reach out for help...

I am falling to pieces
can't look back, can't go forward
sinking deeper into the cold night, the deep hole
Midnight's child chilled and frozen to the bone
reaching to nowhere, no one, and getting nothing...

I am falling to pieces
running out of places to hide
people to turn to and ears to listen
no words come to my lips, thoughts racing all too fast
voices screaming at me, louder...louder...

I am falling to pieces
life slipping right through my fingers
faster and faster nothing holding me back anymore
deeper and deeper into darkness and nothing
blackness covers my eyes, hole in my head...

I am falling to pieces...

~~Wheel of Death--
Copyright Iya1999

Death is upon me
Hurt and agony inside my soul
Oh wait, What fuckin' soul?
Lying dead beyond control
For the world to see me!

Stop this torture, this pain
Make the hurting stop
Before I go insane
Before I finally drop.

All the lies, all the fakes
don't sit around and wait
Get up and kill for satan's sake
Or just let fate.

The anger, the saddness, the hurt,
Growing deeper and deeper within
makes me feel like shit
For what if I am?

Death is coming
wish it was now not later
For all the people I am summoning
For all those I cater.

--CHAOS--
Copyright Iya1999

Where do I go from here?
When life stops and everything is put on hold
For who do we live, a god, ourselves, animals, nature?
And who will tell us what to do and when to do it?
Looking for an answer in somone, something...
Hiding for forever, from the past, the future, and even the present
Holding my breath that something better will come along...
Maybe now, maybe never?

Can't stand the pain, can't stand the hurt
that everyone and everything bring to me.
When angre deep within settles
and nothing can stop the noise in my head
no one understand my cries for help
everyone just looks away in hopes for a brighter day.
And what if the world does end?
Who will be the one's laughing then?

Will I ever make it in this world today?
The person I am, the way I was meant to be...
Will I ever get somewhere, make something of myself?
Can I ever move on, get life started and go?
These are just some of the questions I ask myself
how long? When? How will I ever get through this...this "phase"?
To move on, to succeed, to be something, anything but me.

--Not Titled--
Copyright Iya1999

My hope is fading, faster and faster each day
with each breath I fade into the darkness
And who do I have left, who do I look at, turn to?
A part of me is dead, a part has given away
I keep wanting more out of life when I don't give enough perhaps
And my expectations are high for myself and others
Guess I should wake up to what needs to be done
do it whether I want to or not...

I am left here to do something with my life
Make something of myself, somehow, someday...
Taking everything as I have it and breaking it.
The passion for life is lost and can't gain it back
For if life is what you make it, no wonder mine is fucked
I don't make much of it and don't know why
But I know this and I realize this at least -
Now it's just a matter of doing instead of talking,
But it's hard when you feel trapped, hopeless, and depressed...
The need and desire is there but the drive and motivation lost.

All the fucked up thought that run through my head
can't stop them, can't slow them down.
Please let me be free from voices, sounds, and thoughts!
Where have all the voices gone?
Someone came and took them away - too quiet, too much alone...
Need to do something, need to go, need to get out!

--Last Day of Death--
Copyright Iya1999

Today is the last day of death
And the first day of the last day of sorrow!
Is this making sense yet...
I'm just a fucked up ol' pile of nothing
Everyone takes me and breaks me, to die and lay there...

People hate me for no reason
They don't understand what's truly inside
and to those poeple who shun me and bitch at me
because of the way I look, think, or what I believe...
Fuck off and rot in hell!
Because I, like everyone else, get's to be themself, myself!

Getting lost within my thoughts
Within my head and cold broken heart - mixed up
Scared as all hell for the day I grow up
Afriad I'll never make it in the fucked up world today
Just like now, except I have somone to pick me up
off my ass and set me straight...help me to survive!

--Black Hole--
Copyright Iya1999

A black hole sits deep inside of me
something of which you can't touch, can't see
some would call it a soul,
but I a big black hole
nothing can escape the deep dark pit
it's all in there to rot and sit
forever...

Negative enegry comes to rest inside
the feelings and emotions go and hide
the power resides inside my soul
nothing left but a big black fuckin' hole
taken away and left with pain
I'm think I'm actually going insane
forever...

A worthless mind of nothing
to be built up and be something
A big void inside me
there's so much that I really need
Reaching out of this dirty dead soul
to be a big black hole
forever...

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